21 gobble-able street food yummies in Mumbai

Hello, after what seems like ages!

In all fairness and honesty, I’ve been lazy. I tried to write but then decided to take a nap instead. I’m back finally, with yet another list.
Yes, I know lists are done to death but this is different. Or not.

I curated @WeAreMumbai for a week and was suggested to blog about the best street food places in Mumbai. So, here I am, with the help of Shaunak and Rahul, listing 21 places down, in no particular order. Let me know if you’ve been to any place/ would like to go and have a special review for it. Also, since it’s street food, the location might be a little confusing. Feel free to hit ’em up.

1. Dheeraj (opposite Mithibai, Vile Parle) : Mayo cheese grill

2. Healthy bites (Opposite Bade Miyaan, Besides Gokul bar) : Paneer Charcoal Roll {for late night craving}

3. Manoj (World Trade Centre, Colaba) : Everything you can possibly eat. But white pasta has an edge over everything else. You’re sure to die of cheese overdose, no, not literally.

4. Carter’s Blue , (Carter Road) : Shawarma

5. Khau galli , (Vile Parle Station) : Genie dosa

6. Mohd. Naseer Cooperwala, (Gulmohar Road, beside Vodafone store) : Bhurji pao, pao bhaji, Pulao {Ask him to make it spicy with extra butter}

7. Lucky Pao bhaji and Bhurji Pao centre, (Close to Mohd. Naseer Cooperwala) : Everything. {Will deliver, For midnight cravings}

8. BM/ Gurukrupa juice centre, (Sion, Close to the station) : franky and sandwiches

9. Ganesh galli, (Zaveri bazaar, Muljhi Jetha market) : Daal pakwaan and Daal sandwich. {Also, there’s a guy right beside who sells ‘Milk cake’.}

10. Thane (outside maamledaar office) : Misal

11. Crawford Market, (Outside Sadanand Hotel) : one old guy sells finger lickin’ good Dahi vada

12. Farid Kabab, (Jogeshwari) : Best Seekh Kabab and Paratha hands down.

13. Nawab Kabab, (Kurla)  Open almost till 4 am. Again, some killer Seekh Kabab and Paratha.

14. Hot Seekh, (Hasnabadh lane near Santacruz station) : servers up some killer tandoori, seekh kebab, shawarma and baida rotis

15. Manju Dosa, (Santacruz) : One of the best chutneys ever, in Mumbai. If you can handle a lot of butter this place is for you.

16. Ram and Shayam chatwala, (Santacruz) : One of the oldest chatwalas in Santacruz.

17. Jai Jawan, (Bandra) : The place that keeps linking road buzzing after hours. Some mean fish and tandoori

18. Vakola signal  : Bhruji pav for those 4 am cravings

19. Dosa guy opp Bombay Blues, (Khar) : his orange chutney

20. Dosa guy at Podar school, (Santacruz) : mad pav bhaji dosa

21. Yaadgaar, (Bandra station) : keema pav with half fry

Do try all these places and let me know what you think.

Cheers!

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Misconceptions and Men.

There are a lot of things that men think but aren’t true. I don’t have as much experience with them as I’d like to think but I know quite a few to come to this conclusion.
Go ahead, give it a read and OUTRAGE cause I’m sure a lot of men won’t like a lot of stuff.

1. Your junk is HUGE. Just like we women aren’t equally blessed, so are you men. Learn it and live with it. I don’t know what women prefer, but it’s okay to live with what you have. Don’t boast if you don’t own it.

2. Women know 3245372482161827 colours. Not true, again. A lot of women do, I agree, but there are quite a few who do not. And it is okay. Some women don’t know the difference between beige and cream and its okay. On the contrary a lot of men also do know a large number of colours.

3. Women are complicated. No! Just say a couple of nice things and buy flowers or chocolates and BOOM! She’ll like you! Now don’t ask me questions about friendzones. That’s out of my ability to explain.

4. I’m awesome. Bah! If you’re not Robert Downey, Jr., you have absolutely no right to think that.
 (Women P.S. – You can replace Robert Downey, Jr. with the man of your dreams)

5. All women diet. Puh-lease! Women can be as huge a foodie as you so do not underestimate them and let them have that double cheese margherita.

6. Women follow sports only to impress men. Really? Are we toys or human beings with a brain of our own? We follow what interests us and what we like. If that should impress anyone is just an additional advantage that we probably get.

7. Women can’t kill a cockroach. Okay, let’s face it. A LOT of women including me, can’t. But a considerable amount of women can. They’re brave and this isn’t a need they’d like to call a man for.

8. Clicking a selfie makes you a pussy. I know so many hot guys who click selfies and that doesn’t make them any less of a man.

9. Men who know about fashion are all gay. That doesn’t even make sense. Since when did knowing about something make you gay?

10. Women are gold-diggers. Incorrect. Not all women fall just for money. In fact, a lot of us do like to dutch in when the time comes to pay the bill!

People spotting at a concert.

Listing again.

For a second let’s pretend this is a book you’re starting to read and on the first page is written,

‘This list is dedicated to my dear friend who just got out of his hiding. Welcome back!’

So, I’ve attended a couple of concerts recently and plan to attend more in the near future not because of my sheer love for music but because of the kind of people I come across. Everybody at a concert loves music, looks their best and probably is high on something or the other but there are some who stand out in that massive crowd. Just going to list down a few.

1. The DJ: Of course. It’s his moment of fame. His time. His gig. His music. His wanna be dressing style and his rules. But you’ve got to love the DJ for he calls all the pretty gals from in the front row or on the shoulder to the stage. Moment of glory for them, I guess? And eye candy for the rest of the crowd.

2. The official cameramen: People you will generally see roaming around geared with fancy cameras and making the crowd look beautiful. Poor kids, attend the gig and yet can’t enjoy the gig.

3. The Regulars: These are the kids who can afford to go to every gig in the town/ country. “OMG! This DJ who I know only one song of, is coming to perform in our city? Must. Go. Mom! Give me your credit card details please!”

4. The bouncers: Black body hugging T-shirt that highlights their man-boobs is the typical attire of any bouncer in any gig. Don’t even try smiling at these guys cause a response will be, “Kid, you’re doing drugs?” Yes. I’m doing drugs cause you know, I’m not allowed to be happy otherwise.

5. The kids: No matter how old you are you will see someone younger than you. This is again one of those ‘rich kids who trick their parents into buying the tickets for them case’ or wait.. isn’t their pocket money grand enough to afford a gig? Yes, I’m sure it’s the latter. Just btw, I’m not jealous of you, you 13 year old! Hymph!

6. The uncle and aunty: I don’t know if it’s just me but I’ve always noticed one old couple who doesn’t look like they know shit about the DJ and still come for the gig for I don’t know what. Not like, “Arre, mere bete ka gig hai, chalo free mein time pass kar aayein!” Cause obviously the DJ isn’t Indian. Strangely I’ve seen them only entering and leaving the gig, what happens during the gig neither do I know nor do I want to.

7. *Click*Click*Click* Types: This is one group that you can’t understand. They pay the same amount for the gig but all they do throughout the gig is, “Excuse me, can you please click a picture of me? With the DJ in the background. With that light. With things that I don’t really care about but need to click cause how else will I update my social media?” I don’t care if you click, at least don’t spoil the gig for me?
There are also those who practically record the entire gig on their phones. How many WhatsApp videos do you plan to broadcast, dude?

8. The hotties and the behenjis: There HAS TO be a considerable amount of chicks in a gig that fall in these categories. The hotties that hardly dance and end up becoming the eye candy material for the guys and the behenjis who wear stuff that I wouldn’t even wear at home.

9. Yawn OK Please: These guys are underslept or over worked or something cause all you see them doing is walking around with a bigass yawn. Now it would be harmless if it were not contagious. But you don’t want to dance at your favourite DJs’ tunes showing the entire world the inside of your mouth, do you?

10. Koi Kahe Kehta Rahe types: No matter who is DJ is, these guys are so dedicated to their own beloved favourite Bollywood steps like the Koi Kahe Kehta Rahe that they will only dance to that and embarrass India.

11. The Campfire Crowd: And then there’s the campfire. Slippers, shoes, bags, cellphones and every other possession is dumped in the center and the group begins to dance around it. Forget about the fact that the rest of the crowd doesn’t even have enough space to stand, these guys dance like it’s nobody’s business.

12. I HAVE TAKEN A NIGHT OUT AND I HAVE TO GET WASTED: Kids. Again. Sigh. Get drunk. (I’m not sure if their capacity is low or some massive pre gaming scenes) These kids act all drunk tripping and falling on them male classmates and then grinding and kissing their lust out. And I’m just like, go do this homework at one of your houses and save us the nightmare!

13. On the shoulder: When pretty skinny women get on shoulders of cute muscular guys, it’s eye candy for both the genders. But when a frail guy gets on the shoulder of a fat guy, bro, go home, you’re drunk.

14. Bucket guys: These guys buy exactly one bucket of alcohol, cause expensive, and roam around for three hours with it. Not only that, but they walk around with it ultimately ending up spilling more than drinking. On our clothes. And then flaunt capacity by mentioning, “Pura bucket down kiya phir bhi kuchh nahi hua!”

15. Creepy guys: Is any concert ever complete without this bunch? No. They stare. And stare. And stare. And stare.

*Still staring*

What kind are you?

15 reasons why you shouldn’t date a Gujju boy.

Statutory Warning: Everything said in this post is all in good humor. I am a Gujarati girl myself.

Round rotis

So my list making continues to an extent where I’ve started bitching about my own people. Yes, all of you are my own people cause I’m a human and you are humans and all that but Gujaratis are MY PEOPLE.

I’ve grown up mostly around Gujju boys so didn’t really realize how funny they could be until I spent time with a lot of non-Gujjus.
So here’s a list of why one shouldn’t date a Gujju boy.

 

15. In most probability the Gujju boy will be a vegetarian. Even if he pretends to eat/lick the non-veg food that you offer, he’ll not tell his parents about it and his excuse will be that he’s just doing that to ‘fit in’. (I’m a vegetarian.)
14. Gujju boy will not be very educated but he’ll obviously be great with money. Even if he sucks at math he’ll count your notes like a pro. You don’t want to date a ‘Note Counting Machine’.
13. He has very few options in mind post college. He would either want to join the diamond market, start dealing in shares, open a small stationery/ general store shop or get into some chill job in the film industry. Less work, more money, you see?
12. He comes with baggage. Literally. His paunch.
11. He has a bald patch. If he doesn’t have it already, he will eventually get it.
10. He’ll expect you to cook. ‘Darling, please make me hot rotis with this vegetable?’ Sigh. Go ask your mom to pamper you, please?
9. His shirt has all sorts of gross patterns stitched on them. Flowers and ‘mehendi designs’ are all nicely embroidered on his wacky loud shirts. If they’re plain do expect them to be of some hideous shade.
8. He cannot dance at a party. You’ll spot him either standing at one corner having Coca Cola or doing Dandiya right in the center of the club. You’ll also periodically see him do his classy neck movements when he shakes a leg.
7. Food is his ultimate priority. He cannot travel anywhere without carrying a packet of something cooked at home. ‘Thepla’ and pickle will be his priority though.
6. Some men like it when you can sing/ dance, some like it when you go all dirty on him. He’ll LOVE you if you can cook him nice ‘undhiyu’. (It’s a mix vegetable dish, in case y’all are wondering.)
5. He cannot talk in proper English. He just cannot. Either his language sucks or the way he writes/types. There’ll rarely be a Gujju boy who’ll sweep you off your feet with his words.
4. He can’t come up with smart comebacks. The internet is ruling the minds but the Gujju won’t come out of his calculator. He won’t know how Twitter functions, he won’t get the reason why one shouldn’t like their own status/ picture or even how you should respond to a certain joke.
Friend: Knock knock!
Gujju Boy: What? You’re stupid or what?
3. He’s a die-hard cricket follower. So much that it gets annoying. But of course, if he won’t watch, how will he bet on the teams with his friends?
2. He uses Sampoo and not shampoo. He won’t even know what a conditioner would be good for. Though he obviously will have it in his bathroom.
1. If he gets into a bar fight, no one will take him seriously once he decides to abuse. When you hear stuff like ‘aye vaydo!’, ‘vaaghri’ or ‘chaaplo’, you won’t go all, ‘What the hell did you just say?’, you’ll just go, ‘Hahahahahahaha! Acha bhai sorry, okay?’

Love being Listed.

Love Lists for Life. One more. About Love.

They say Love is blind. Love is forever. Love knows no bounds. Love sets you free etcetera, etcetera.

Par, kya tumne kabhi kisi se pyaar kiya?
Kabhi tumne kisi ko dil diya?
Maine bhi diya… lalala.

We know about the unending needs of a woman.
What does love make a man do?

Here’s a list of the top 15 things a man does, when in love.

15. Carry her handbag. (Why not? I mean, everyone does a lil bit of adjustment when in Love!)
14. Recharge her Phone. She doesn’t go out and earn, does she?
13. Watch chick-flicks with her. When else can you watch the movies you love?
12. Throw the cockroach out of her house while both of y’all are screaming like a ‘One Direction’ fan. You know even you’re scared of flying roaches. Who isn’t?
11. Eat her left overs. You know she can’t eat a lot. Why’d you buy her the 6″ subway sammich’ then?
10. Text her friends. This will make them bitch about you, to her. Stay away.
9. Not take advantage of her when she’s drunk. (That’s the reason she got drunk in the first place.)
8. Always be her +1. And make her realize that you’re an overly-attached boyfriend and then make her start hating you.
7. Call her, Text her or be with her and make her realize you’re there for her 24×7. I have nothing to say except, give some S P A C E.
6. Write love letters and cute mails. I guess that invented the cute metal song. (Most of the people here won’t get that joke, but never mind.)
5. Dedicate songs to her. She doesn’t need to know how much you suck at singing. Stop with posting stupid songs for her on your Soundcloud.
4. Love her when she’s going through ‘THAT’ time of the month.
3. Fix her computer. Who better than you would know how to put a serial number for a software and install it?
2. Spend your money on her shopping. She comes with a price tag, doesn’t she?
1. Get her a teddy bear. What could be a better way of telling her she’s immature?

Go kids, make love! 🙂

Top 15 turn offs.

The list love continues. One more list to make you happy or get you thinking. This time, it’s all about the major turn-offs. Girls are picky and this is exactly what you shouldn’t be, for them to pick you.

15. Gulp a Banana down your throat. Please don’t ever do that anywhere close to a girl So gross!

14. No drunk dancing wearing our clothes. Unacceptable. One, don’t get drunk. Two, don’t wear our clothes. How complicated is that?

13. Following us on Twitter and questioning every tweet. We know you like to be connected all the time but Twitter is where we like to draw the line. (And we all thought otherwise, didn’t we?)

12. Putting up ‘Emo’ tweets/ statuses. Bro, we are out of your league now. See you later, alligator!

11.  Wearing torn shoes. You check us out from top to bottom, we go in the reverse order. If them shoes are ugly, we will be gone in a jiffy.

10.  Get your ex/ female friends along when we go out. Really? Like, really?  *rolls eyes*

9. Get your smelly socks anywhere close to us. We’d just assume that you want us to faint and that you are suffering from necrophilia. *runs away*

8. Beatbox while eating. We know you’re talented, but COME ON!!

7. Coming to the other sounds that your body is capable of making and the other chemical reactions that result into fowl smells that we and other people have to bear. Please, ‘kayam churan khao aur ghar pe kar ke aao.’ Burps and ass-burps  are not welcomed.

6. There’s ‘wearing deo’ and then there is ‘proving that you missed your bath’. Former is must and latter is must not.

5. *Ooh! What a body!* So, you go to the gym? You must be wearing all those fancy white colored V-necks which are so hot NOT. You get the point, no?

4. If your moobs are bigger than my boobs, the door is that way, bro.

3. Don’t ever tell us to ‘go make a sandwich’. That’s it. We’re done. Goodbye.

2. Wear pants tighter than ours. What exactly are you trying to show off? We’ll see what we want to, have to and when we want to.

1. Get that Boom Boogy ‘Booger’ out for display.

21 Things to not do when you’re angry.

I have had a sudden love for lists. Nobody generally likes to make lists but this one, could be different.

Most people living in a fast moving city are short tempered and perpetually pissy. Just so that you don’t make impulsive decisions that would lead to something not very pleasing, here’s a list of things you shouldn’t do when angry.

21. Don’t punch your computer in the screen. Don’t.
20. Don’t login through your girlfriend’s Facebook account and post a status saying, ‘I’m gay.’
19. Don’t run to your fridge and eat everything you can see.
18. Don’t tear your favourite pair of pajamas. You’re going to regret that one.
17. Don’t catch cockroaches from below your wash-basin and kill them with the only tool at home- your pair of scissors.
16. Don’t go into a room and breakdown like a baby.
15. Don’t race with the guy who broke the signal and ram into him.
14. Don’t hold that crying kid by the neck and smack his head to the wall repeatedly.
13. Don’t login through your social networking accounts (notice multiple) and post, ‘I’M SO ANGRY!’.
12. Don’t call your crush and start begging for sympathy.
11. Don’t go buy all the alcohol you can and then curse the reason for your anger in even more anger.
10. Don’t take the guy(the reason for your anger) as hostage and threaten to kill him.
9. Don’t go play ‘Crazy Taxi’ on the streets.
8. Don’t hire a horse to ride around the street chasing the person who got you angry with your grandfather’s shotgun.
7. Don’t take a butter knife and announce that you’re going to slit his throat.
6. Don’t join the Police force just to hunt down your ‘pisser’. (As I would like to call it. Or invent a new word. Or whatever.)
5. Don’t invent a gun that would shoot ‘used sanitary material’. That would just be gross.
4. Don’t buy a lot of candy and poison it just so that you can sweet talk the pisser into eating it.
3. Don’t send multiple letters to Hogwarts complaining how angry you are because they don’t send you your acceptance letter.
2. Don’t purchase a customised cap that reads, ‘FUCK OFF, I’M SO MAD AT YOU!’.

The last one..

1. Don’t go to the parlour and get your nails done. Uh oh. No, actually do that.