Top 15 turn offs.

The list love continues. One more list to make you happy or get you thinking. This time, it’s all about the major turn-offs. Girls are picky and this is exactly what you shouldn’t be, for them to pick you.

15. Gulp a Banana down your throat. Please don’t ever do that anywhere close to a girl So gross!

14. No drunk dancing wearing our clothes. Unacceptable. One, don’t get drunk. Two, don’t wear our clothes. How complicated is that?

13. Following us on Twitter and questioning every tweet. We know you like to be connected all the time but Twitter is where we like to draw the line. (And we all thought otherwise, didn’t we?)

12. Putting up ‘Emo’ tweets/ statuses. Bro, we are out of your league now. See you later, alligator!

11.  Wearing torn shoes. You check us out from top to bottom, we go in the reverse order. If them shoes are ugly, we will be gone in a jiffy.

10.  Get your ex/ female friends along when we go out. Really? Like, really?  *rolls eyes*

9. Get your smelly socks anywhere close to us. We’d just assume that you want us to faint and that you are suffering from necrophilia. *runs away*

8. Beatbox while eating. We know you’re talented, but COME ON!!

7. Coming to the other sounds that your body is capable of making and the other chemical reactions that result into fowl smells that we and other people have to bear. Please, ‘kayam churan khao aur ghar pe kar ke aao.’ Burps and ass-burps  are not welcomed.

6. There’s ‘wearing deo’ and then there is ‘proving that you missed your bath’. Former is must and latter is must not.

5. *Ooh! What a body!* So, you go to the gym? You must be wearing all those fancy white colored V-necks which are so hot NOT. You get the point, no?

4. If your moobs are bigger than my boobs, the door is that way, bro.

3. Don’t ever tell us to ‘go make a sandwich’. That’s it. We’re done. Goodbye.

2. Wear pants tighter than ours. What exactly are you trying to show off? We’ll see what we want to, have to and when we want to.

1. Get that Boom Boogy ‘Booger’ out for display.


21 Things to not do when you’re angry.

I have had a sudden love for lists. Nobody generally likes to make lists but this one, could be different.

Most people living in a fast moving city are short tempered and perpetually pissy. Just so that you don’t make impulsive decisions that would lead to something not very pleasing, here’s a list of things you shouldn’t do when angry.

21. Don’t punch your computer in the screen. Don’t.
20. Don’t login through your girlfriend’s Facebook account and post a status saying, ‘I’m gay.’
19. Don’t run to your fridge and eat everything you can see.
18. Don’t tear your favourite pair of pajamas. You’re going to regret that one.
17. Don’t catch cockroaches from below your wash-basin and kill them with the only tool at home- your pair of scissors.
16. Don’t go into a room and breakdown like a baby.
15. Don’t race with the guy who broke the signal and ram into him.
14. Don’t hold that crying kid by the neck and smack his head to the wall repeatedly.
13. Don’t login through your social networking accounts (notice multiple) and post, ‘I’M SO ANGRY!’.
12. Don’t call your crush and start begging for sympathy.
11. Don’t go buy all the alcohol you can and then curse the reason for your anger in even more anger.
10. Don’t take the guy(the reason for your anger) as hostage and threaten to kill him.
9. Don’t go play ‘Crazy Taxi’ on the streets.
8. Don’t hire a horse to ride around the street chasing the person who got you angry with your grandfather’s shotgun.
7. Don’t take a butter knife and announce that you’re going to slit his throat.
6. Don’t join the Police force just to hunt down your ‘pisser’. (As I would like to call it. Or invent a new word. Or whatever.)
5. Don’t invent a gun that would shoot ‘used sanitary material’. That would just be gross.
4. Don’t buy a lot of candy and poison it just so that you can sweet talk the pisser into eating it.
3. Don’t send multiple letters to Hogwarts complaining how angry you are because they don’t send you your acceptance letter.
2. Don’t purchase a customised cap that reads, ‘FUCK OFF, I’M SO MAD AT YOU!’.

The last one..

1. Don’t go to the parlour and get your nails done. Uh oh. No, actually do that.

She or Me?

She comes from a family of intense customs and traditions. The family who believes the girl should get married at 22. The family who wouldn’t let the girl talk when guests are home. The family who wouldn’t let her go out without a male company from the family itself. The family who wouldn’t spend much on her education because they know she’s not going to be one of the earning members of her future family. The family who thinks she should get the joys but not more than her brother.

She liked my life. But she loved hers too. She’d come to my house as a guest and was going to stay for a couple of days. She liked when I took her out. She loved to play with the kids at home. She’d talk to the grandmom for hours. Sometimes, even go to the temple with her. Cooking was her forte and she made me feel minuscule when she entered the kitchen. She had a sort of flair with the kitchen work. Woke up way before the kids of the family did and got ready along with the adults.

I don’t love the kitchen as much as I love outdoors. I don’t like getting up early in the morning. I don’t want to get married so soon. I don’t like talking for hours with anyone. I don’t like sitting, gossiping and chopping vegetables for the dinner. I love going out. I love painting and creating new things. I love parties and sometimes I love staying all day in my bed. I like cooking when I feel like cooking. My room is a mess. I love the beaches and I love the roadside stalls. I love staying up till late and sleeping till noon. I love making random plans and I also love planning things in advance.

When I enter the kitchen now, I try to may be prove myself to be better than her.. Take care of the kids and stay at home all day.
When I took her out, she tried to talk and handle stuff like me. She did her hair like me. Wore my clothes.

Scary thing, I’m just a year younger and just because of where we’ve grown up, we’re so different.

The real question in my head is, is she trying to be me or am I trying to be her?