15 reasons why you shouldn’t date a Gujju boy.

Statutory Warning: Everything said in this post is all in good humor. I am a Gujarati girl myself.

Round rotis

So my list making continues to an extent where I’ve started bitching about my own people. Yes, all of you are my own people cause I’m a human and you are humans and all that but Gujaratis are MY PEOPLE.

I’ve grown up mostly around Gujju boys so didn’t really realize how funny they could be until I spent time with a lot of non-Gujjus.
So here’s a list of why one shouldn’t date a Gujju boy.

 

15. In most probability the Gujju boy will be a vegetarian. Even if he pretends to eat/lick the non-veg food that you offer, he’ll not tell his parents about it and his excuse will be that he’s just doing that to ‘fit in’. (I’m a vegetarian.)
14. Gujju boy will not be very educated but he’ll obviously be great with money. Even if he sucks at math he’ll count your notes like a pro. You don’t want to date a ‘Note Counting Machine’.
13. He has very few options in mind post college. He would either want to join the diamond market, start dealing in shares, open a small stationery/ general store shop or get into some chill job in the film industry. Less work, more money, you see?
12. He comes with baggage. Literally. His paunch.
11. He has a bald patch. If he doesn’t have it already, he will eventually get it.
10. He’ll expect you to cook. ‘Darling, please make me hot rotis with this vegetable?’ Sigh. Go ask your mom to pamper you, please?
9. His shirt has all sorts of gross patterns stitched on them. Flowers and ‘mehendi designs’ are all nicely embroidered on his wacky loud shirts. If they’re plain do expect them to be of some hideous shade.
8. He cannot dance at a party. You’ll spot him either standing at one corner having Coca Cola or doing Dandiya right in the center of the club. You’ll also periodically see him do his classy neck movements when he shakes a leg.
7. Food is his ultimate priority. He cannot travel anywhere without carrying a packet of something cooked at home. ‘Thepla’ and pickle will be his priority though.
6. Some men like it when you can sing/ dance, some like it when you go all dirty on him. He’ll LOVE you if you can cook him nice ‘undhiyu’. (It’s a mix vegetable dish, in case y’all are wondering.)
5. He cannot talk in proper English. He just cannot. Either his language sucks or the way he writes/types. There’ll rarely be a Gujju boy who’ll sweep you off your feet with his words.
4. He can’t come up with smart comebacks. The internet is ruling the minds but the Gujju won’t come out of his calculator. He won’t know how Twitter functions, he won’t get the reason why one shouldn’t like their own status/ picture or even how you should respond to a certain joke.
Friend: Knock knock!
Gujju Boy: What? You’re stupid or what?
3. He’s a die-hard cricket follower. So much that it gets annoying. But of course, if he won’t watch, how will he bet on the teams with his friends?
2. He uses Sampoo and not shampoo. He won’t even know what a conditioner would be good for. Though he obviously will have it in his bathroom.
1.┬áIf he gets into a bar fight, no one will take him seriously once he decides to abuse. When you hear stuff like ‘aye vaydo!’, ‘vaaghri’ or ‘chaaplo’, you won’t go all, ‘What the hell did you just say?’, you’ll just go, ‘Hahahahahahaha! Acha bhai sorry, okay?’
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54 thoughts on “15 reasons why you shouldn’t date a Gujju boy.

  1. well said… I know this article has set many Gujrati guys pubic hair on fire.. but fact is fact…the Gujjus are basically race of shopkeepers, bussinessman.. They will even bet on the gender of their unborn baby still in their pregnant wife’s womb.. Only some idiots like Ankur Patel will claim themselves well educated.. fact is simple- whats big deal in boasting off online? But then again, you should not expect much from race of disgraced shop keepers.. Throughout ages they have learn to bluff, cheat and dishonestly loot people.. Its gone in their blood… U cant change much of it….Fuck all Gujjus!!

  2. As a Gujarati I couldnt bother reading beyone the first few points. The author needs to understand the fundamental difference between a gujarati and a marwadi before writing such horse shit.

  3. Hey Shruti, Let me admire First YOUR In-Depth Over-all Observation Power & The Hardwork behind this Particular Article, I am Gujarati & Frankly Speaking I started out reading this Article with a Different Thought (Actually to Shut YOU Down) & As I read it as Third -Person (SAAKSHI BHAAV) … I was enjoying every Bit of Information that You crafted with Your words & May be a Little Of Your research & Experiences, & Being a Gujarati Man, I agree with What You had to say about Gujarati Boy, I completely Agree With YOU..And Being a GUJARATI, I also felt the Need to share the Other side of the COIN, That You Might have Missed or may be YOU will Post in Your Next Article & That’s About TRANSFORMATION from a GUJARATI BOY to A GUJARATI MAN- You Know The WORLD STANDS to SALUTE THE SAME MEN..Current Example NARENDRA MODI- Jab Koi GUJARATI BHAI AGAR KUCHH THAAN LE TO Use Nahi Theple Ki Padi, Nahi Maake Haath Ki ROTI ki, Wo Jo Bhi Kartaa He, Apni Ek ALAG STYLE ME Karta He. See PARESH RAWAL- Log Luv Story, Action, DRAMA FILMS Banaate Honge- Isne Oh! MY GOD- Aage Kuchh Nahi Kehna… See DHIRUBHAI AMBANI- Jab 28 Rs. Mobile pe Incoming Charge Lagta Tha- He announce to bring Revolution In Telecommunications with FREE INCOMING CALLS & 50 paisa Outgoing!! As Far As Dating A Gujarati Boy is Concerned YOU ARE 100% Right, Now I would Appreciate If You could write anything On DATING A “GUJARATI MAN on A MISSION”… That’s a Challenge & If YOU A TRUE GUJARATI, Take it & Do Some Smart Work……
    - JayckieeD ( Jayckie Upadhyay)

  4. This post is mean spirited, tasteless and just plain false. You do not have some natural right to criticise and generalise about a group of people like this despite the fact you are part of that group. I know men of all nationalities who can behave in the ways you have described as being the typical characteristics of a Gujarati man. As I said, I think a lot of these generalisations are just completely false. If you were trying to be funny then you failed on that count as well. Good humour requires some intelligence behind it. This doesn’t have any

  5. Hey shruti ,
    may be you were grown in very low-class area in gujarat…
    i m non-gujju,, but there is not like you have said….
    may be you were rose in pourity….
    may be your attitued effects on your childhood
    all i want say to you guys that, don’t judge people by your fantsy or desireness
    are yaar, aisa to india ke kisi bhi kone me hota hai….,our people are religion fools OR what can i say………..(arrenge marriage) fools …..or ye sab change hone me thode saal lage gay……

    To Minal and Shruti…
    Ho sakta hai ke gujju ne tumhari kisi jagah pe insult ki hogi…aur uska gussa ab yaha nikal rahe ho….
    my mother is class \-one officer…so mai INDORE, DELHI, PUNE or AHMEDABAD jese cities me reh chuka hu…..
    my advise is that apna nazariyaa badlo to sab accha lagega….
    LOLs

  6. I think its a good post if u have the humour..I’m a gujju boy and proud to be one..I think u should go ahead and write some more of these.. Way to go girl..keep writing..and all these negative comments u have received should be taken as a compliment that will make u write more and bolder..cheers :)

  7. Dear Shruti,

    Statutory Warning: Everything said in this post is all in good humor. I am a blogger myself.

    After reading this, some of the words/phrases that came to my mind are:
    1) Stereotyping
    2) Stupidity
    3) Idiotic
    4) Utter nonsense
    5) Piece of crap
    6) Ranting of someone who has got nothing useful to do with life and wants to sound so “cool” and “awesome”
    7) Regret (for wasting my time in reading it)

    I repeat: Please don’t take it personally. It is meant to be in good “humor”
    [This disclaimer gives one the right to utter anything and then call people objecting to one's blabber as orthodox and narrow-minded, doesn't it??]

  8. Amazing!! My Gujju frnd has all the quals u mentioned.. but they are simple ppl..

    @Minal: U Bazingaa’d!! that @Karan pretty hard.. if Vp’s of companies are reading this then I am not going to invest in your bank.. but the 12th fail 2 times and then MIT degree was amazing!!U should write a book abt your lyf sir.. especially wonderful the bit abt calling other women “Racist” while defending how gentle and polite Gujju men were.

  9. haha…that seems you’ve never met a decent enough gujju guy. The qualities or as u say in the negative context here is of the typical gujju (I would not say guy bcoz its more like for a geriatric person). So better get your odds straight…

  10. Again @Karan

    The information about Ambani’s has been from the book “The Polyester Prince” penned down by an Australia-based author “Hamish McDonald”….. The book was not welcome in the bookstores but is available on web portals…….”

    I am a professional research associate. So won’t say anything w/o proper analysis…….

    • as a professional research associate .. doesnt look like youve done your homework despite trumpeting your own horn. The book was banned for publication in india for a reason… since you do “proper analysis” why don’t you state it..

      • @fatfatia

        I guess that much homework the audience needs to do…… I know the reason…… But India is the master of piracy… and the pirated versions of the book were made available in Mumbai after Dhirubhai’s death…….

  11. @ karan Pachchigar

    No question of getting dumped by Gujju’s……… I was brought up in a locality wherein there were a handful of Gujjus……. not even 5%…….. and the statistics still remain the same…….. Besides, I have studied in a women’s engineering college….. and had studies as a priority……. not like Gujju girls…. who start eyeing guys the moment they enter the college….. and Gujju Guys…… whose parents start looking out matches even if the guy is not economically independent…….

    4 Gujjus had proposed me when I had been to Amedabad to attend a cousin’s wedding…….. They were from my cousin’s in-laws’ side………. but the same servile mentality……… They told me just 2 things…….

    1) “U should make round chapatis………”

    2) “You would have to leave job after marriage…….. I want a wife to serve me hot food and serve my mother…… U are educated, good….. but we do not want working girls…… It is a disgrace to our family….”

    And note….. They didn’t converse in this English…… They spoke the typical Ahmedabadi dialect…. And all 4 of them were engineers…….. When I advised them to for a girl who would love to be housewife, they said, “We are educated… Why should we settle down for a plain graduate?” It’s an insult to us………”

    This is how Gujju guys take girls for granted…….. None of the guys asked me about me aspirations……

    And by the way, what makes u go so wild? I had mentioned that 9 out of 10 Gujju housewives are useless…….. Your wife may fall in the category of 10% Gujju’s…..and I guess she is not a housewife…….. :-)

    I do not need to figure out how u live…… My grandpa was also a wing commander with the Indian Air Force……..

    And for ur information, my mummy is a retired HOD of Botany from RCF college, Chembur, Mumbai….. and my pa, a retired GM from an MNC……. Hats off to my parents for not going for another child after my birth……. They raised me like their son and inculcated good values in me…… I have not come across Gujjus stopping after single child…. that too, stopping after getting a baby girl…..

    And the Ambani’s……. Again, for your information, Mr. Dhirubhai Ambani had tried to murder Mr. Nuslee Wadia……… I assume that u know who was Nusliee Wadia…….. Mr. Ratan Tata has been rendering monetary support to the victims of 26/11 at Taj Hotel as well the ones who survived the onslaught at Mumbai CST since 2008…….. Whereas Mr. Mukesh Ambani built Antilla….. Such a waste for just 4-5 people to stay in……… :-(

    And another updation…….. Mr. Anil Ambani’s wife, “Tina Munim” was a live-in partner of superstar Rajesh Khanna for 4 years…
    ……

    And what did u say? “Racial Bitch”………. I could register a police complaint against u for disrespecting women like this………. Should I term u as a bastard in return?

    I won’t do that……… B’coz I have not been taught to insult elders………. Addressing u as bastard would be a direct attack to ur parents……… Which i have not been directed to do…….

    And my opinion is not limited only those 4 guys……….. I came across many such morons on Shaadi.com……. 100+………

    U could check out on this link on Linkedin…….. which is my profile……… which would give a clear picture about me……

    http://in.linkedin.com/pub/minal-vaishnav/1b/604/430

    And another piece of information………. The concept of “contract marriage” was born in Ahmedabad……….. So much so that the Supreme Court had to intervene into it………

    And for your “so called” opinion about me being a racist, let me again tell u that my parents are pure Gujjus………. and my pa has shunned the servile mentality of Gujjus…I decided to marry out of Gujjus as I found many Gujjus doing only 3 things:

    1) Eat
    2) Drink Soda
    3) Sleep

    So Gujjus have the worst health on the planet…………….. :-(

    Grow up Karan…… :-) I will pray to God that u get well soon… So that u are fit enough to treat ur patients…. :-)

    I am, by all means, enjoying with my non-Gujju in-laws……..

    • I agree about the health part of Gujarati’s. I myself am a Gujarati but there is no point demeaning any caste because of their ways of living. If you have your opinion to share, thats completely fine but to come out and say things as if they are facts is wrong. My family is very health conscious and it differs from family to family not caste to caste. I hope we should fighting over such petty issues and unite as one. Just because some people had bad experiences with Gujarati’s doesn’t give them a right to write wrong things about us. No disrespect to anyone. :)

      • @onlyrightwins

        Do u really think the opinion is formed just because certain Gujjus ill-treated us? I am not all that insensitive to derive pleasure while demeaning the Gujju community…. :-( In fact, I would never ever adore any of the communities that practise double standards…….. People like u fall under 10% sensible Gujjus. I have had my relatives all over Gujarat – Ahmedabad, Baroda, Jamnagar, Rajkot, Surat, Porbandar, Junagadh, Dwarka, and the list is endless…….. Everywhere the experience was the same…. as I mentioned above…..

        One is bound to feel bad on receiving brickbats regarding his/her own roots……. But truth cannot be ignored……

        I am a Gujju by birth and we follow all the Gujju customs at my mother’s place….. The negation about Gujjus hasn’t come all of a sudden……. There have been 20+ years of experience behind formation of the opinion…..

      • Okay no problem I understand but again to make public comments and articles may be crossing a line. If people have issues they should keep it to themselves as even the 10 percent good Gujarati crowd feels bad about being called ignorant towards education. Every caste and religion have faults. But I understand what you are saying :)

  12. shruti you bithch please delete this post..i will take action against you for making such comments againt a particular cummunity.please take it serios .you can land up in court..if you cant write good then atleast dont write shit you racial slut..please delete this post or face the music.

  13. You really need to update your stupid racist brain, you dumb witted moron! Have you seen and heard how many ‘gujjus’ are in all the fields and all over the world?!! Probably not! You stupid shit!! You could come and personally meet me and see how we live!! Just a small example is a well known family who you probably do not know about – The Ambanis! I am a Doctor myself, my wife – a GUJJU- is a microbiologist! My dad is a retired pilot and my mom a teacher!! Shut the f*ck before a GUJJU like me finds you and beats the leaving hell out of you with the same hands we eat those round rotis and daal bhat you little bitch!!!

  14. Hey shruti,
    Good one.
    I know you already give warning on your post. but you know what every where there are different type of people in each communities. no one has same 4 fingers in their hand. So before writing such type of useless things just try with more Gujarati Boys. it might happen that people around you or in your family are the same as you described in your post. may be you have this type of Boyfriends, Or you never get any Gujju Boyfriend that is why you are writing nonsense.

    Having pure Veg is may be shame for you, but that’s the food what Gujarati eats. People are dying to eat Gujarati food. Just get up from your chair and look in to the world. People who are laughing on the statement “Thepla and chatney” They never get this type of food in their whole life. so you should be proud on that, there is nothing to hide in this.

    You said you are Gujarati, so you must know this “Draksh mali nai, etle Draksh khati hati”(Meaning – When you don’t get thing which you want then you will give excuse “i don’t like it that is why i don’t have it”). so might be same problem with you. So sad for you :( Poor girl :( :(

  15. Gujarati Girls like you are a disgrace to his society and for parents.All what you have mentioned is totally scrap .You will repent in life down the line shruti Thakkar.

  16. Well Miss Shruti Thakkar,
    So kind of you that you did lot of research on Gujju boys. I am not being Judgmental but just guessing that you will be dumped by Gujju Guys more than 15 times. LOL.

    Any ways let me introduce my self. Name is Ankur Patel , 12th fail 2 times but bounced back and finished Diploma in IT engineering, BE in IT engineering and Masters in Computer Science from MIT and Finished my Phd just 4 month back. I guess you know whats MIT. And yes i am VP at Morgan Stanley at NYC. Yes I know 6 different languages Hindi , GUJARATI of course , Marathi , Sanskrit , English , Spanish and French. I have 12 Research papers published under my name in top 5 universities of the world.

    Well today you are able to write 15 reasons why not to date Gujju that freedom you are enjoying is because of two man GUJJus . Yes Sardar Patel and Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi.

    Again 70% of liquor stores in USA owns by Gujjus than its a thing of getting proud. By the way you didnt mentioned about how gujjus do sex. Safe sex with condoms ? And how long Gujjus can hold ? I guess you are missing this.

    And by the way not all gujjus carry home food . And i dont see any logical point why not to carry home food ?

    Well yea if gujjus ask you to make hot vegetables and chapati than when you will be pregnant or ill that Gujju will even clean your shit. Why because we know how to Give in response.

    I have read your warning but I dont give warning just wrote what i felt. So dont get offended Racial Bitch. :)

    • So much BS in one answer. Dude, I am a guy and i may or may not agree with stereotypes but please what’s with all the fake degrees and stuff?

      Hilarious.

  17. Shruti Thakkar Any tips on gujju girls and how to find one i just love gujju culture and i am marathi brahmin I am a vegan and i just dont run after money

    • @Kushagra

      U could create a profile on any of the matrimonial sites and under “preferred partner”, specifically mention “Gujarati” as mother tongue…….. U will find loads…….. Anyways, 9 out of 10 Gujju girls divide their 24 hours a day into 3 slots: 8 hours sleep, 8 hours watching daily soaps and the rest 8 hours cooking phaphada, dhokla, thepla, ghughara, gossips, and loitering on husband’s money…….. Most of the Gujju housewives try to speak English of the Zopadpatti level……. and “so-called” graduate Gujju housewives send their children to private tuitions right from the LKG….. As such, they waste fathers’ money in studying before marriage and waste husband’s money after marriage in tuitions……

      I am lucky to have a well-qualified mother; who is an expert cook as well as the best teacher…… I never found the need to avail tuitions till std.12; as my mum had strengthened my base….. I am an Electronics & Telecommunication engineer, a professional Bharatnatyam dancer, a professional poetess, a post graduate in journalism & mass communication and a good cook.

      That’s why I stood out from the Gujju counterparts……. I feel like slapping those Gujju guys who were not even plain graduates and still dared to propose me :-(……. So the woman’s qualification does not mean anything to them…… All the women are same in their eyes… educated or 8th pass……..

      I am happy with my non-Gujju in-laws and husband…….. :-)

      All the best for ur partner search.

      • You probably were dumped by a smart gujju boy a couple of times!! Enjoy your non gujju life!! You probably were the joke of the class so that guys would propose you just for the fun of it! @Racist bitch alert part 2!

      • Just goes on to show how dumb you are! Seriously, get a life.. You must have been dumped by a Gujju guy and were a joke yourself, so all you can do is whine on the internet. My goodness! Look at your foolishness. Your ego is higher than your IQ rating. I wonder what you will teach your kids, if your brain is full of crap!

      • @ Varun

        You better get your basics right……. I do not have all the time in the world to whine away on the Internet….. I am a working woman and accountable for every minute I spend in my office……Moreover, I need not get my IQ certified from you :-) No one is fond of bringing forth the dark shades of their communities…… And, mind u…. exceptions don’t prove the rule…….. I have the guts to talk bluntly… be it about Gujjus or any damn thing in the world…….. U keep on mollycoddling your big fat ego……..

        And for ur information….. To get dumped by a Gujju guy, I need to fall for him in the first place…….. Which I never did :-)

  18. Well said Shruti…….. Not only that, Gujjus are the only people who marry off their daughters to the boys even if they bask in the glory of their families and do not earn even a penny…….. In Gujarat, no one really cares if u r educated or not… That’s why, there are around 50 engineering colleges in whole of Gujarat, whereas the University of Pune alone has more than 50 engineering colleges…… Likewise, Gujju guys marry only to legalize their lecherous attitude…. They do not treat their wives at par with them…..

    The entertainment industry has also accepted this blatant truth….. In “Taarak Mehta ka……..”, Jethalal openly sees Babita……. and stupid Daya does not even realize it…… Moreover, Jethalal always insults her….. whereas no one else in the Gokuldhaam society behaves like this with their better half……

    Also, the character of “Sundar Veera” is hopeless……… If I would have had such a looting brother, I would kicked him out of my life………

    Gujju guys are gluttons…… :-( I am also a Gujju girl and have experienced Gujju culture to the core………. I hate the society that does not give respect to women…….. and I am happy to not marry in a Gujju family…….

    I am a working professional and cook meals for me and my family… with supportive in-laws…….. :-) and not the typical Gujju mother-in-law……who does nothing apart from belting out orders to the daughter-in-law…..

  19. Hah Hah, nice article. I’m Bengali guy but have plenty of Gujju friends. What I like about Gujjus is that they’re least confrontational of all communities. In any other community including Bengali, once you pick a fight with someone, it will last all day and in case of certain communities like Haryanvi Khaps, Rajasthanis, Jatts, Kerala, MP, UP etc., fights last for GENERATIONS. There’s a word for that = FEUD. I’ve rarely seen Gujaratis fight among even each other, and never at all on trivial matters. It’s both a positive quality as well as negative. There are certain situations in life when you really need to fight with all your strength and conviction even if that means disturbing the peace. However, fighting over a girl does not count; it’s silly and disrespectful to all three parties :) Fighting for one’s “haq” is very important to a Bengali. That’s why there are so many agitations and bandhs in Bengal because Bengalis just cannot adjust to injustice or oppression. Being passive is seen as a weakness there (with all respect to Mahatma Gandhi’s message of passive resistance).

    Almost all Gujju friends I have eat non-veg on the side to as you said, “fit in”. They just don’t want to admit it. But as they say, different strokes for different people.

  20. You know what before meeting my bestie I used to think like this only… but surprisingly “He” is amazing and happy-to-confess opposite of each point you have mentioned here. He is intelligent, comes up with jaw-struck answers, impressive communication and social and presentation skills. I would say, I was happily denying each point with the curiosity to know how is he better from next statement that you have made. So, this is my take on your thoughts and you will be shocked to know, that My Gujju Bestie shared this link with me. Hahahahaa….

  21. First m an EDUCATED Medical Student(MBBS) nd nt busines man Secondly every gujaratis r nt lyk wat ur thinking, nd being vegetarian is nt wrng actualy its keep health fit nd where i m staying der is no bald persons.. Nd actualy Gujaratis r Quiet, dat u also knwing it being a Gujarati..

  22. Haha. Your comment section is giving you more than 15 reasons. We want a follow up on this, shruti. This is some good work right here.

    We have people with PhD who don’t know the plural of “man”.

    We have impeccable use of the English language to prove how wrong you are about how people don’t have a language problem.

    We have people calling a girl nasty names because she voiced an opinion.

    And we have people who are just trying to hit on you by showing how they don’t comply with none of the things mentioned in your list.

    This is a masterpiece, shruti.

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